"No, Mister Bond. I expect you to STRIP."
MISSION BRIEFING: The world is, as usual, in trouble... menaced this time by the Pernicious INternational Cartel of Horrible Baddies Out To Take Over el Mundo (P.I.N.C.H.B.O.T.T.O.M.), whose plan for global domination -- to use the twirling of burlesque performers' tassels to hypnotize the populace into submission -- is not the most ludicrous in the history of the 007 franchise. But P.I.N.C.H.B.O.T.T.O.M. will soon discover that The Twirl is Not Enough. Because (an unlicensed parody of) James Bond is back... and this time, he has a "License to Pinch" in the undercover extravaganza YOU ONLY PINCH TWICE. Hosted by Nasty Canasta (as James Bond*) and Jonny Porkpie (as her arch-nemesis Porkfeld), and featuring a cadre of superspies, double agents, and villainous henchgals.