PINCHBOTTOM'S GREATEST HITS
Marley was nude, to begin with....
Charles Dickens immortal classic finally drops its knickers and gets down to business. "Even Durang doesn't dismember Dickens as much as the clothing-optional folks at Pinchbottom do in "Filthy Lucre: A Burlesque Christmas Carol" -The New York Times more
There's a body in the library... and what a body! But which of the mysteriously sexy guests at Pinchbottom Manor is the killer? Quirky British detectives Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are searching for clues in every pair of panties, but they have their work cut out for them -- because in this mystery, every suspect is drop-dead gorgeous. more
Welcome to a dark future where burlesque is forbidden on all civilized worlds. After years of searching the galaxy, Rogue Starship Captain Jonny Porkpie and his attractive band of space rebels have located the exiled Burlesque Queen. But can the... more
Things are definitely not groovy in Disco City, where down and dirty Crime Boss Nasty Canasta runs an illicit burlesque and counterfeiting ring with a satin-gloved fist. There's just one hope for this jive town: Funkadelic policeman Jonny Porkpie and the far-out detectives of P.I.N.C.H. SQUAD. But can the polyester-clad Fuzz solve the mystery of who stole the decade's fashion sense? You've never been happier to see clothes come off than in P.I.N.C.H. SQUAD 70s Cop Show Burlesque. more
When hosts Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are bitten by a radioactive spider as they rocket from their exploding home planet, a bat flies through the window of their ship, exposing them to cosmic rays which activate their latent mutant... more
FINAL TWO SHOWS!
Where your imagination hits your funny bone: Pinchbottom's Pretençión
, a neo-burlesque show with a rotating all-star cast of some of the hottest names in the business. Join a French Stripper, a Traumatized Clown, and an Ordinary Man on sensual quest for Pretençión, which turns performers from ordinary "Jerques" into self-important "Cirques" -- magical, spellbinding artistes who peel away the mundane with every layer of clothing.
Featuring international bump and grind superstars like Angie Pontani, Bastard Keith, Broadway Brassy, Creamy Stevens, Dirty Martini, Donny Vomit, Fancy Chance, Jo "Boobs" Weldon, Jonny Porkpie, Julie Atlas Muz, Little Brooklyn, Lux La Croix, Mat "Sealboy" Fraser, Miss Tickle, Mr. Murray Hill, Tansy, Tigger!, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, and more
The Elektra Theater, 669 8th Avenue NYCPurchase Tickets more
President Jonny Porkpie decides that Nasty Canasta and the Pinchbottom Burlesque Organization are stockpiling "Weapons of Ass Destruction", and orders the invasion of their home base... New York City. In response, PINCHBOTTOM DECLARES WAR and Drill Sergeant Canasta whips her Burly-Q Commandoes into fighting form with a rigorous basic training regimen. In high-heeled boot camp, these burlesque stars must forswear their beloved bump & grind in favor of military maneuvers. When the two armies clash, will Porkpie's elite Presidential unit infiltrate the burlesque stronghold? Or will his regime be toppled by Nasty's privates? more
INCOMING - FINAL TRANSMISSION ... A small band of burlesque performers has survived ... the provisional government's ban on all forms of nakedness has forced us to become outlaws, outcasts in a world we never made .... we are attempting to rebuild society the only way we can: by taking off our clothes ... if anyone out there still believes in the principles of truth, justice, and striptease, find us .... the future nudity of humanity is at stake .... MESSAGE INTERRUPTED more
When THE PINCH BROTHERS (also sisters) are hired to save an ailing theater, they do so by converting it into a BAWDY HOUSE, complete with ribald comedy, risqué magic, and of course, burlesque, burlesque, burlesque! But on opening night, everything goes wrong -- buttons keep popping, pants keep dropping, and the schtick keeps getting schtickier. Can Nasto (NASTY CANASTA), Porko (JONNY PORKPIE), and their siblings Basto, Cadabro, Clammo, Drunko, Gigo, Li'l Brooko, Litto, Naughtio, Neilo, Rubo, Rayo, and Tiggo, get through the show with their clothes intact? Nope. more
MISSION BRIEFING: The world is, as usual, in trouble... menaced this time by the Pernicious INternational Cartel of Horrible Baddies Out To Take Over el Mundo (P.I.N.C.H.B.O.T.T.O.M.), whose plan for global domination -- to use the twirling of burlesque performers' tassels to hypnotize the populace into submission -- is not the most ludicrous in the history of the 007 franchise. But P.I.N.C.H.B.O.T.T.O.M. will soon discover that The Twirl is Not Enough. Because (an unlicensed parody of) James Bond is back... and this time, she has a "License to Pinch" in the undercover extravaganza YOU ONLY PINCH TWICE. Introducing our new 007, rising burlesque star Tansy, alongside Pinchbottom co-creator Jonny Porkpie, plus Tigger!, Broadway Brassy, Anita Cookie & Scott Rayow, Jo "Boobs" Weldon, The Maine Attraction, BB Heart, Gal Friday, Jenny C'est Quois, Mr. Gorgeous, Pinkie Special, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Bond girls Bunny Buxom, Ivory Fox, and Little Motown; as per usual for Pinchbottom shows, a full dossier of burlesque superstars as a cadre of superspies, double agents, and villainous henchgals.
8:00pm Thurs Oct 25, Fri Oct 26, Sat Oct 27 at The Kraine. buy tix
AND TOP SHOWS
In the peaceful town of Pinchbottom Gulch, sheriff Jonny Porkpie doesn't have much to do... that is, until Nasty Canasta and her rowdy band of girl outlaws ride into town with their guns a-blazin', and their blazin' guns. So the... more
When Hugo J. Porkenbush, house doctor to the Coney Island Sideshow, accidentally incapacitates all the performers, he has to find replacement acts -- and fast! So he recruits a pair of Boardwalk grifters (Nasto & Tiggo) to shanghai "volunteers" for the show. But when, instead of hapless victims, they abduct a bevy of burlesque performers from the Mermaid Parade, the show goes on... a lot further than anyone expected! more
Tragedy strikes a small town when beloved Coach Pinchy is fatally killed in a deadly accident. So it's up to Assistant Coaches Jonny Porkpie and Nasty Canasta to whip an all-burlesque-star team into fighting shape in time to win the... more
The Bible commands "Thou Shalt Be Drunken, and Shalt Make Thyself Naked" (Lamentations 4:21), but which faith truly embraces this dictum? Only one: Pinchbottom's Church of the Almighty Posterior, led by Pastor Nasty Canasta and Reverend Jonny Porkpie. Join them... more
When Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are offered the chance to bring Pinchbottom to Broadway, they immediately call on all of the talented and wonderful people who helped make their off-off-Broadway show such a hit... to ask them to audition,... more
Finally, a burlesque show for the whole family! (Except the kids.) Yes, everybody from the young to the young at heart (actual young will not be admitted) will enjoy this brightly-colored show designed especially for children! (Not suitable for children.)... more
When Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie try to mount "Pinchy's First Non-Denominational Holiday Enjoyment Fest," a Pinchbottom burlesque holiday special, who should come knocking at the door but Mr. Angel of Death? And, given that he's been force-fed holiday cheer... more
In an infernal supper club, a story of seduction and damnation unfolds when the devil takes the form of a burlesque dancer to bargain for the eternal souls of the entire audience. more
When culinary cutie Nasty Canasta & gastronomist Jonny Porkpie, hosts of the EAT ME burlesque cooking show, spice up their recipes with tassel-twirling celebrity guest chefs, they end up with a sizzling platter that's more than they bargained for: a... more
Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are thrilled when they're invited to host the Oscars... until Porkpie realizes that only Nasty has been asked. But that doesn't stop Pinchbottom from rolling out the red carpet for an award-winning night of big... more
Now in its 3rd year! When Nasty Canasta takes charge of the Holiday Pageant, she decides to celebrate with nudity, using burlesque stars for sexy tributes to the season. But the grinch-like (but legally distinct) "Pinch" (Jonny Porkpie) wants to keep Xmas clean and pure as the virgin snow, and so dresses up like a Burlesque Santa and sets out to kidnap each and every performer in Nasty's show, including Julie Atlas Muz, Little Brooklyn, Legs Malone, Mat "Sealboy" Fraser, and Sapphire Jones. Burlesque Santa's sack is full of goodies for all the bad boys and girls. more
Let the sexy experts of The Pinchbottom Institute for the Sex gently guide you through the simple steps necessary to make you -- yes, you! -- a whiz at HOW to SEX. HOW to SEX (a do-it-yourself guide) uncovers every... more
On July 24, marriage equality finally becomes reality in The Empire State. And now that New York has joined the ranks of nuptial non-discrimination, New York Burlesque can finally celebrate the institution. On Friday August 5, join the wedding party at Coney Island USA, when Jo "Boobs" Weldon, headmistress of the New York School of burlesque, teaches brides of all genders HOW TO STRIP OUT OF A WEDDING DRESS... with a little help from Pinchbottom. more info more
On the eve of the publication of Jonny Porkpie's lurid pulp novel "The Corpse Wore Pasties", Pinchbottom's burlesque book party celebration is in full swing... until the show's performers see the manuscript for the first time and notice distinct similarities between themselves and the characters in the book. Tempers flare, bodices rip, tassels twirl... and Porkpie ends up dead. So co-producer Nasty Canasta dons her detective pasties and attempts to uncover the murderer before the final curtain -- with a little help from you. more
"Do you remember, Nasty, back in the old days, in New York City, when we were young?" On a hot day in Miami, octogenarians Jonny Porkpie and Nasty Canasta reminisce about their time in the world of burlesque. A broken... more
A myth steeped in legend, surrounded by mystery, wrapped in secrets, dripping in sweat: The Golden Boobs of Doom were worshipped by the Ancient Burlesquians as a symbol of all that was naked and sexy in the world. When that... more
All concerned parties are invited to attend a tassel-twirling community meeting where the Pinchbottom Burlesque Management Company, LLC ("PBMC") will unveil a much sexier plan for the development of Coney Island: a burlesque theme park called PINCHBOTTOMLAND. Says Nasty Canasta,... more
WORLD PREMIERE. Nasty Canasta arrives for her first day of Freshman year at Pinchbottom University, where the student body is well-rounded, the college green is nicely trimmed, and the extracurricular activities are all extra-extracurricular! But even though she quickly befriends "Big Man on Campus" Jonny Porkpie, Nasty discovers that dorm life is a lot harder than anticipated at... PINCH U.
All all-new show in the tradition of such somber meditations on collegiate life as Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds
, and Teen Wolf Too, PINCH U.
kicks off Pinchbottom's Off-Broadway Spring season at The Bleecker Street Theater. Want to get into the spirit of Pinch U. early? Then print your own beer
with the Pinch U. home brew! more
Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie just haven't been the same lately... they seem to have lost that ol' stumble in their step, that slur in their speech, that oh-so-charming glazed-over look in their eyes. What could the matter be? Is... more
It's a slumber party in pink... and YOU'RE invited! All the most popular girls in school are gonna do LOTS of SUPER FUN sleepover activities -- paint our nails, gossip, pillow fight, perform burlesque acts, even practice kissing! Plus ALL... more
When Pinchbottom puts a gaggle of gorgeous burlesque performers in a house on a desert island in a bus on the road in a boardroom on a boat at a circus with a dancing bachelor idol apprentice and someone else's wife's nanny's washed-up celebrity chef and Cory and forces them to compete competitively for the title of "Top Most Best Biggest Everything Ever for all time 2009", what will happen? There's only one thing you can be sure of... it's going to be sexy. more
The Rack Pack is back! And they're bringing "the strip" to Atlantic City. But when a seedy casino owner cancels their hit show, there's only one way for these cats to get their revenge... a swingin' naked heist. This crew... more
On the precipice of time, the ragged edge of existence itself, one painted gasp before an unceasing void envelops the final fragment of reality: A single beautiful moment remains, forestalling oblivion, in which a forgotten god -- trapped forever in the crumbling stone of a sculptors' misconception -- obviates his own extinction with the only art eternity cannot bear to destroy...
No, seriously. Artistic striptease confounds oblivion. more