PINCHBOTTOM'S GREATEST HITS
Marley was nude, to begin with.... Charles Dickens immortal classic finally drops its knickers and gets down to business.
"Burlesque queen Nasty Canasta makes perhaps the loveliest and certainly the nudest Scrooge in history" -The New York Times more On the eve of the publication of Jonny Porkpie's lurid pulp novel "The Corpse Wore Pasties", Pinchbottom's burlesque book party celebration is in full swing... until the show's performers see the manuscript for the first time and notice distinct similarities between themselves and the characters in the book. Tempers flare, bodices rip, tassels twirl... and Porkpie ends up dead. So co-producer Nasty Canasta dons her detective pasties and attempts to uncover the murderer before the final curtain -- with a little help from you.
moreThere's a body in the library... and what a body! But which of the mysteriously sexy guests at Pinchbottom Manor is the killer? Quirky British detectives Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are searching for clues in every pair of panties, but they have their work cut out for them -- because in this mystery, every suspect is drop-dead gorgeous.
moreWelcome to a dark future where burlesque is forbidden on all civilized worlds. After years of searching the galaxy, Rogue Starship Captain Jonny Porkpie and his attractive band of space rebels have located exiled Burlesque Queen Nasty Canasta. But can...
moreThe international hit nude literary salon comes to New York City via the people who bring you Pinchbottom Burlesque. On 3/4/10, NGR NYC takes a trip to the future with
Naked Girls Reading SCIENCE FICTION starring Nasty Canasta, with Madame Rosebud, Miss Tickle, Sapphire Jones, and more.
morePINCHBOTTOM'S FINAL MONTHLY! Things are definitely not groovy in Disco City, where down and dirty Crime Boss Nasty Canasta runs an illicit burlesque and counterfeiting ring with a satin-gloved fist. There's just one hope for this jive town: Funkadelic policeman Jonny Porkpie and the far-out detectives of P.I.N.C.H. SQUAD. But can the polyester-clad Fuzz solve the mystery of who stole the decade's fashion sense? You've never been happier to see clothes come off than in P.I.N.C.H. SQUAD 70s Cop Show Burlesque.
moreWhen hosts Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are bitten by a radioactive spider as they rocket from their exploding home planet, a bat flies through the window of their ship, exposing them to cosmic rays which activate their latent mutant...
morePretençión is the place where Mystery sits at a table with Elegance, and Imagination orders a round of drinks before dinner. It is a world where those drinks are served by a pompous clown. Join Pinchbottom on a sensual quest for
Pretençión, an imaginary yet sexy element that turns burlesque performers into infuriatingly, unendurably spellbinding artistes who peel away the mundane with every layer of clothing. Step into the world of
Pretençión -- but be careful not to trip on the magic.
more President Jonny Porkpie decides that Nasty Canasta and the Pinchbottom Burlesque Organization are stockpiling "Weapons of Ass Destruction", and orders the invasion of their home base... New York City. In response, PINCHBOTTOM DECLARES WAR and Drill Sergeant Canasta whips her Burly-Q Commandoes into fighting form with a rigorous basic training regimen. In high-heeled boot camp, these burlesque stars must forswear their beloved bump & grind in favor of military maneuvers. When the two armies clash, will Porkpie's elite Presidential unit infiltrate the burlesque stronghold? Or will his regime be toppled by Nasty's privates?
moreINCOMING - FINAL TRANSMISSION ... A small band of burlesque performers has survived ... the provisional government's ban on all forms of nakedness has forced us to become outlaws, outcasts in a world we never made .... we are attempting to rebuild society the only way we can: by taking off our clothes ... if anyone out there still believes in the principles of truth, justice, and striptease, find us .... the future nudity of humanity is at stake .... MESSAGE INTERRUPTED
moreWhen THE PINCH BROTHERS (also sisters) are hired to save an ailing theater, they do so by converting it into a BAWDY HOUSE, complete with ribald comedy, risqué magic, and of course, burlesque, burlesque, burlesque! But on opening night, everything goes wrong -- buttons keep popping, pants keep dropping, and the schtick keeps getting schtickier. Can Nasto (NASTY CANASTA), Porko (JONNY PORKPIE), and their siblings Basto, Cadabro, Clammo, Drunko, Gigo, Li'l Brooko, Litto, Naughtio, Neilo, Rubo, Rayo, and Tiggo, get through the show with their clothes intact? Nope.
moreMISSION BRIEFING: The world is, as usual, in trouble... menaced this time by the Pernicious INternational Cartel of Horrible Baddies Out To Take Over el Mundo (P.I.N.C.H.B.O.T.T.O.M.), whose plan for global domination -- to use the twirling of burlesque performers' tassels to hypnotize the populace into submission -- is
not the most ludicrous in the history of the 007 franchise. But P.I.N.C.H.B.O.T.T.O.M. will soon discover that The Twirl is Not Enough. Because (an unlicensed parody of) James Bond is back... and this time, he has a "License to Pinch" in the undercover extravaganza YOU ONLY PINCH TWICE.
moreAND TOP SHOWS
In the peaceful town of Pinchbottom Gulch, sheriff Jonny Porkpie doesn't have much to do... that is, until Nasty Canasta and her rowdy band of girl outlaws ride into town with their guns a-blazin', and their blazin' guns. So the...
moreWhen Hugo J. Porkenbush, house doctor to the Coney Island Sideshow, accidentally incapacitates all the performers, he has to find replacement acts -- and fast! So he recruits a pair of Boardwalk grifters (Nasto & Tiggo) to shanghai "volunteers" for the show. But when, instead of hapless victims, they abduct a bevy of burlesque performers from the Mermaid Parade, the show goes on... a lot further than anyone expected!
Burlesque At The Beach at Sideshows By The Seashore
1208 Surf Ave, Coney Island, Brooklyn
moreTragedy strikes a small town when beloved Coach Pinchy is fatally killed in a deadly accident. So it's up to Assistant Coaches Jonny Porkpie and Nasty Canasta to whip an all-burlesque-star team into fighting shape in time to win the...
moreThe Bible commands "Thou Shalt Be Drunken, and Shalt Make Thyself Naked" (Lamentations 4:21), but which faith truly embraces this dictum? Only one: Pinchbottom's Church of the Almighty Posterior, led by Pastor Nasty Canasta and Reverend Jonny Porkpie. Join them...
moreWhen Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are offered the chance to bring Pinchbottom to Broadway, they immediately call on all of the talented and wonderful people who helped make their off-off-Broadway show such a hit... to ask them to audition,...
moreFinally, a burlesque show for the whole family! (Except the kids.) Yes, everybody from the young to the young at heart (actual young will not be admitted) will enjoy this brightly-colored show designed especially for children! (Not suitable for children.)...
moreWhen Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie try to mount "Pinchy's First Non-Denominational Holiday Enjoyment Fest," a Pinchbottom burlesque holiday special, who should come knocking at the door but Mr. Angel of Death? And, given that he's been force-fed holiday cheer...
more In an infernal supper club, a story of seduction and damnation unfolds when the devil takes the form of a burlesque dancer to bargain for the eternal souls of the entire audience.
moreWhen culinary cutie Nasty Canasta & gastronomist Jonny Porkpie, hosts of the EAT ME burlesque cooking show, spice up their recipes with tassel-twirling celebrity guest chefs, they end up with a sizzling platter that's more than they bargained for: a...
moreNasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are thrilled when they're invited to host the Oscars... until Porkpie realizes that only Nasty has been asked. But that doesn't stop Pinchbottom from rolling out the red carpet for an award-winning night of big...
moreNow in its 3rd year! When Nasty Canasta takes charge of the Holiday Pageant, she decides to celebrate with nudity, using burlesque stars for sexy tributes to the season. But the grinch-like (but legally distinct) "Pinch" (Jonny Porkpie) wants to keep Xmas clean and pure as the virgin snow, and so dresses up like a Burlesque Santa and sets out to kidnap each and every performer in Nasty's show, including Julie Atlas Muz, Little Brooklyn, Legs Malone, Mat "Sealboy" Fraser, and Sapphire Jones. Burlesque Santa's sack is full of goodies for all the bad boys and girls.
moreLet the sexy experts of The Pinchbottom Institute for the Sex gently guide you through the simple steps necessary to make you -- yes, you! -- a whiz at HOW to SEX. HOW to SEX (a do-it-yourself guide) uncovers every...
more"Do you remember, Nasty, back in the old days, in New York City, when we were young?" On a hot day in Miami, octogenarians Jonny Porkpie and Nasty Canasta reminisce about their time in the world of burlesque. A broken...
moreA myth steeped in legend, surrounded by mystery, wrapped in secrets, dripping in sweat: The Golden Boobs of Doom were worshipped by the Ancient Burlesquians as a symbol of all that was naked and sexy in the world. When that...
moreAll concerned parties are invited to attend a tassel-twirling community meeting where the Pinchbottom Burlesque Management Company, LLC ("PBMC") will unveil a much sexier plan for the development of Coney Island: a burlesque theme park called PINCHBOTTOMLAND. Says Nasty Canasta,...
moreWORLD PREMIERE. Nasty Canasta arrives for her first day of Freshman year at Pinchbottom University, where the student body is well-rounded, the college green is nicely trimmed, and the extracurricular activities are all extra-extracurricular! But even though she quickly befriends "Big Man on Campus" Jonny Porkpie, Nasty discovers that dorm life is a lot harder than anticipated at...
PINCH U.
All all-new show in the tradition of such somber meditations on collegiate life as
Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds, and
Teen Wolf Too, PINCH U. kicks off Pinchbottom's Off-Broadway Spring season at The Bleecker Street Theater. Want to get into the spirit of Pinch U. early? Then
print your own beer with the Pinch U. home brew!
moreNasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie just haven't been the same lately... they seem to have lost that ol' stumble in their step, that slur in their speech, that oh-so-charming glazed-over look in their eyes. What could the matter be? Is...
moreIt's a slumber party in pink... and YOU'RE invited! All the most popular girls in school are gonna do LOTS of SUPER FUN sleepover activities -- paint our nails, gossip, pillow fight, perform burlesque acts, even practice kissing! Plus ALL...
moreWhen Pinchbottom puts a gaggle of gorgeous burlesque performers in a house on a desert island in a bus on the road in a boardroom on a boat at a circus with a dancing bachelor idol apprentice and someone else's wife's nanny's washed-up celebrity chef and Cory and forces them to compete competitively for the title of "Top Most Best Biggest Everything Ever for all time 2009", what will happen? There's only one thing you can be sure of... it's going to be sexy.
moreThe Rack Pack is back! And they're bringing "the strip" to Atlantic City. But when a seedy casino owner cancels their hit show, there's only one way for these cats to get their revenge... a swingin' naked heist. Nasty Canasta,...
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